What He wants......

We were at the beginning of a "discussion" about my attitude while I was under the weather when He mentioned how we need to add some new implements to the arsenal. Considering He had just acquired two new brushes that were about to be tried out, I wasn't necessarily inclined to agree.

According to Him, the problem is that these two are made of materials we already have. It seems to me we have just about every material that can be had and I told Him so.



Nope.   Not quite.



It was clear He had something on His mind, so I asked Him what He thinks we're missing. 


Apparently, two things............and He was already planning to remedy the situation.



Now, mind you, the warning bells are going off.......He's planning to buy implements, and He's EXCITED about it....................yeah, definitely warning bells........




He brought out the laptop (spanking postponed......yeah!) and asked me to go to a site we have used before. I did so, and He then shared with me the first material we are missing:



Lexan.


Ok, so I dont know exactly where He got this idea......but He is fixed on getting us a lexan paddle and trying it. And, I'm ok with that............. surprised He brought it up, but it should be interesting to try. That was the first item He picked out.




The next material we are supposedly missing is................drumroll please.........

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Rattan.

Ok, so I dont know if I can be ok with this one.


He wants us to try a cane.

Anyone who knows me even a little, knows that this has been something that's a hard limit for me. I've never experienced it, and I don't know that I want to.


I mean, I kinda do.



And I really don't.



Know what I mean?


We did purchase one, and He promised to go very slowly. I told Him there really is no guarantee we will be using it at all yet, and He is ok with that. I know He won't force it, or try to pressure me into it. He knows this is the one thing I have a hard time with, for whatever reason, and I trust Him to wait until I'm ready.

I don't know exactly why I feel this way about this particular implement....I've never experienced it personally, and I do have a relatively high pain threshold, so it wouldn't seem like it would be such a big deal to try it. Maybe just fear of the unknown.......but then again, everything has been "unknown" until we've tried it. I'm not sure what it is.


Since He had shared all of this with me, I decided to share something with Him. For awhile now, I have been thinking about something we did once that, while it freaked me out when we did it, I've been wanting to try again. And so, I asked Him for the computer and if I could add one item as a surprise. He said yes, but insisted on seeing it then, so I added it to our order then went back to the product page so He could see the full picture:

I loved the colors. He loved the idea. I told Him I would try to behave better this time, and He promised to go slowly with this as well (we tried a blindfold once before, and I had a bit of a panic attack with it and kinda freaked out on Him a bit. But ever since, I have wanted to try it again...this is a very real fear for me, and one I would like to get past). He was more than a little surprised at this suggestion, and very pleased by it.

I'm feeling a little anxious/nervous but definitely excited as well.


I think you can all pretty much imagine how He is feeling. :)


~sugar