Full of Joy.....Again!!!!

I have so many things to be thankful for :)

I've become an auntie again!!! :) Another gorgeous baby girl to love (aka spoil) :)

And, she should be joined by another before the end of this year :) (not by me though :P)
You may remember my first "filled with joy" post when I mentioned one of my sisters who was told she would never have children......and now she is carrying her FOURTH (!!!!!) little miracle! :) I am so excited! By the end of the year, my parents will have 24 grandchildren :) And two of my siblings aren't even parents yet! Its going to be a big, BIG family :)


I had this all typed out, and I just erased it. I don't know exactly how I feel right now. Happy, of course, regarding the above.

But it's been a weird week, or two, for me. I've still been sick--Wednesday will be 3 weeks---and to the hospital twice in 24 hours. Different meds are making me feel either supremely tired or all over the place crazy. There's been alot.....I mean ALOT.....of self-pity going on, and it's something I cringe thinking about. I always hate that I do this, yet I can't seem to stop it either.

I'm looking back, realizing that I am so very lucky compared to the things others are facing on a daily basis, and it just makes me feel.......shallow...... for complaining about the stupid little crap that I've been given, when others handle ten times as much with grace and dignity and keep pushing forward through it all.

I keep erasing and re-typing this. I don't know how to say exactly what I mean. I feel like it's coming across really lame.

I guess all I can say is I've been in a very wrong state of mind and it's really been on my mind and making me think. I'm thankful for a whole bunch of things in my life, things I am LUCKY to have, but right now especially for those I know who are facing difficult things in their lives and their strength challenges me to do better.........to think better.

I guess that's it. Do you ever have the feeling you're saying alot, but nearly enough?

~sugar