I have so many things to be thankful for :)
I've become an auntie again!!! :) Another gorgeous baby girl to love (aka spoil) :)
And, she should be joined by another before the end of this year :) (not by me though :P)
You may remember my first "filled with joy" post when I mentioned one of my sisters who was told she would never have children......and now she is carrying her FOURTH (!!!!!) little miracle! :) I am so excited! By the end of the year, my parents will have 24 grandchildren :) And two of my siblings aren't even parents yet! Its going to be a big, BIG family :)
I had this all typed out, and I just erased it. I don't know exactly how I feel right now. Happy, of course, regarding the above.
But it's been a weird week, or two, for me. I've still been sick--Wednesday will be 3 weeks---and to the hospital twice in 24 hours. Different meds are making me feel either supremely tired or all over the place crazy. There's been alot.....I mean ALOT.....of self-pity going on, and it's something I cringe thinking about. I always hate that I do this, yet I can't seem to stop it either.
I'm looking back, realizing that I am so very lucky compared to the things others are facing on a daily basis, and it just makes me feel.......shallow...... for complaining about the stupid little crap that I've been given, when others handle ten times as much with grace and dignity and keep pushing forward through it all.
I keep erasing and re-typing this. I don't know how to say exactly what I mean. I feel like it's coming across really lame.
I guess all I can say is I've been in a very wrong state of mind and it's really been on my mind and making me think. I'm thankful for a whole bunch of things in my life, things I am LUCKY to have, but right now especially for those I know who are facing difficult things in their lives and their strength challenges me to do better.........to think better.
I guess that's it. Do you ever have the feeling you're saying alot, but nearly enough?
~sugar
Monday, April 30, 2012
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Just a little fib
That's all it was. Just one little fib. You would think I would know better by now. My big mouth always gets me in trouble. After all of this time, I can still look at Ace and lie to Him. That's hard to admit.
This one is going to be long and kind of random in parts, but will come together at the end, I promise---just stick with me.
We were cleaning out the basement of Ace's mom's house--she has mountains of stuff stockpiled down there that we tried to organize, but mainly He wanted to re-claim all of the things she saved from when He was a kid. It was quite a bit of work, but very cool to watch His face light up when He found things He has not seen in years and assumed was long gone.
One of the best things He found was a belt that was given to Him when He was just a child. It's much smaller than our other belts, a burgundy colored leather thats very thick and heavy, and has His real name on the front of it. It joined our collection in record time.
I've spent the last week and a half being sick--started as a flu bug that knocked me down for two days and turned into a nasty head cold, with all the sinus/chest gunk and a cough. Then on Thursday afternoon, it morphed into an eye infection.
I didn't think it was much to worry about. My eye was red and sore, but I figured it would take care of itself. Then Friday morning, I woke up and couldn't see out of that eye. I washed it out carefully, and over the course of an hour, I was able to see again but my eye stayed bloodshot and I couldn't stop the tears rolling down my face. Ace was adamant that I call the optometrist.
I hate going to the eye doctor. HATE IT. Mostly the part when they put those drops in my eyes that hurt like hell. My eye doctor actually told me last time that she has never seen any one fight it so much. Not actually swinging or kicking or anything, but I physically cannot hold my eye open and allow something to be put in it, and even when she holds it open it still tries to close. It usually takes at least a couple of tries to get a drop that actually goes in.
Needless to say, with my eye hurting the way it was already, there was no way in heck I was going to have that done. I had already decided that. I tried to shrug it off, doing the "its no big deal.....whatever" stuff. He wasn't having it. We had somewhere we needed to be in less than an hour, so He told me to take the phone with me, get ready to go, and call the doctor. Yeah, yeah....blah blah.
I took the phone with me.....and got ready to go. What's that you ask? Didn't I forget something?? Funny that you should mention it.
I went out to the kitchen and put the phone back. Ace was already there waiting.
"What happened? Did you talk to someone?"
"Uh..........no, no there was no answer..........just a busy signal hon. We need to get going don't we?"
"Yeah, in just a minute here." He walked away and I figured that would be that.
Then a few minutes later, I was standing on the other side of the kitchen when He came back in.
"Ready to go?" I asked. I had my back turned to Him, so I didn't immediately see where He was headed.
"Yeah, I'll just ring the number again here quick before we head out."
My heart sank. I turned around and watched Him get the phone, dial, and then put the phone up to His ear, knowing full well that someone was bound to answer. I figured I was caught, red-handed.
Sure enough, someone answered and He waved me over quickly to take the phone and tell them what was going on. As it turns out, my optometrists (a husband and wife team) are only on call for emergencies on Fridays. YIPEE!! That meant no doctor for me, as I wasn't about to tell them this was an emergency.
And then, of course, the technician working in the office had to go and ask what was going on. Ace was standing right beside me, so I knew "oh, nothing.....everything's fine" wasn't going to cut it. I reluctantly told the tech my symptoms and his immediate reaction was to take down phone numbers where we could be reached as he was calling the doctors right away. Bummer.
A few hours went by and we didn't hear anything, so I figured the good doctors were entitled to their Friday afternoon, and more power to them. However, the tech finally called back and said he had contacted one of them, they were on the way into town, and could I please meet them at the office? Ace was already nodding, so I knew it was over.......I was going to have to go.
I didnt have to have drops put in my eyes there---yay!---but it turns out it is a bacterial infection that has to be treated with, of course, antibiotic eye drops! So under strictest of orders from the doctor, every two hours I have to put warm compresses on the eye for fifteen minutes, followed by a cold compress for five minutes, and then have the eye drop put in. Honestly, in just a day and a half it is working, but this medicine burns like fire in my eye. It's very hard to do, Ace has had to try to fight with me to get it in, but it has been healing the infection.
So, while I have been sick I have been trying to keep myself and my temper under control, but I am really evil when I am sick. I have been being careful though, and trying to just stay quiet if nothing else. Ace decided tonight that I needed some maintenance. I couldn't argue, its been awhile and I've been rather emotional/needy/feisty/cranky/etc. lately. He's put up with alot out of me the last few days, so I decided to try to be obedient/submissive to Him tonight. I immediately changed into appropriate spanking attire (He has set down rules for how I have to be dressed for this) and met Him in the bedroom.
He spanked me hard with His hand, the Mandatum paddle, the silver hairbrush and a few other items before deciding it was time to try out the newest addition.....the belt we found the day before. As I mentioned above, it is shorter and not as wide across as our other two belts, but is at least twice as thick as any leather implement we have. Ace gave me a few swats with it, then asked me to compare it to the other belt He uses the most often. I found I liked this smaller belt better. It actually hurts a bit more, but in a different way. There is almost no sting to this smaller belt at all--it is very, very heavy and the impact goes deep. I prefer this over sting, as it lasts longer. Ace actually commented that this was leaving marks on me, which never ever happens no matter what He uses, and it was quite an effect for such a small belt.
He started out slowly with it and built up in intensity. Halfway through, He had me stand up so He could pile up the pillows in the middle of the bed, then made me lay over them so He could keep going. It was very intense at the end, and I was struggling to stay in position, so He gave me just a few more and then stopped. By this time, I was out of breath and had serious marks forming on my backside. Ace laid down behind me and pulled me back into His arms to cuddle/soothe after such a hard spanking.
But there was only one thing I could think about. Since the second we walked into the bedroom, I had decided I needed to confess to Ace about the little fib I told about calling the doctor. I had been thinking about it all during the spanking He had given me, trying to decide if I was brave enough to admit it, or if I could count this spanking as punishment enough for it and let it go. I knew better than that. My conscience wasn't letting me off that easy. I had to tell Him.
<sigh>
"Babe?"
"Yeah?"
"I have something I have to tell you."
"What is it? Wait, lemme guess......you can take more than that? Do you seriously want more?"
"No, no....that's not it at all! I just kinda have to tell you something"
"What is it?"
"I don't know if I want to tell you!"
"Uh oh, why not??"
"Well, it certainly doesn't bode well for me, especially in this position."
"Tell me."
"Well, I might have, kinda sorta, told you a bit of a fib about calling the doctor today."
He raised up on his elbow and looked over my shoulder into my eyes, doing the one eyebrow raised you are in trouble look.
"You did what?"
<deep breath>
"I kinda, actually told you a bit of a lie this morning when I said I called Dr. ______."
"Uh huh.....I see. So, you never actually called them at all." (said as a statement)
"No, Sir, I didn't."
"You just decided to tell me that you did." (That doesnt sound good!)
"Yeah, I guess. But I wasn't trying to lie.....I just hate going there, and my eye hurt already, and I didn't want them to put those evil drops in there........and I just didn't want to go! I hate it!!!!"
"I can understand that, but do you understand that you had to go? This is not something that was going to take care of itself you know! And lying to me about it??" He trailed off.
"I'm sorry Babe, I really wasnt expecting you to come back and decide to call them yourself." (not exactly sure why I said that!!)
"Well, its a darn good thing for you that I did isnt it?"
I just nodded. I told Him how I was sure He was going to question me after He called and that I was certain He knew that He had caught me already. He replied that He never had that thought at all, because He trusted me that I had done what He asked. That really hurt to hear. I had betrayed His trust in me and been disrespectful to Him as the leader in our home. Tears welled up in my eyes, and I told Him I was sorry, that my intention was not to lie to Him.......I just didnt want to go.
He told me again that He could understand how I felt, but that I needed to share those feelings with Him and let Him help me through it, rather than being disobedient and lying to Him. He had me cradled in His arms as He said it, and He lectured me a little more about my behavior, but I knew I had more than just a lecture coming.
"Are you going to spank me again?" I whispered the question, although I knew the answer already.
"Yes, I am. You just cannot lie to me. I can't let you get away with that."
The tears were back as He put me in position again. I fully expected Him to take the belt back up, but He leaned down and softly told me:
"You're lucky you've had such a hard spanking already tonight. I'm going to give you 25 more, hard, with my hand, and then we are going to forget about this. Do you understand?"
I just nodded my head and braced myself for it. Two swats in I was in full out tears, and by the end I was openly crying......something that hasn't happened in a very long time. It took Ace by surprise, and He was kind enough to get me some tissues and a drink of water before taking me back into His arms. I apologized again, and He soothed me. When I calmed down, He asked if I was alright and why that had made me cry when I have taken harder before. It wasnt the spanking that made me cry---it was the acknowledgement that I had looked right at Him and lied to Him when He trusted me and I told Him it hurt my heart to know that I had disrespected Him that way. My conscience was still bothering me---He had let me off very easy considering I lied directly to Him. I was worried He was going to resent me for it and I told Him so. He looked me right in the eyes:
"Listen, I dont want you feeling that way. I am not angry at you, and this is over. I don't even want you to think about it anymore, ok? It's over now."
I just nodded and started to leave the room. He caught me halfway across and pulled me into a hug. I melted into His arms. A few minutes later, He pushed back to look down at me and I lowered my eyes.
"Look at me." Not a request, a command I obeyed immediately.
"I love you Mae." My heart soared.
"I love you too."
"Now, go get everything ready for tomorrow and get to bed."
I nodded again and started to move past Him when I heard Him quietly clear His throat. I looked back at Him and saw one eyebrow raised and an expectant look on His face, accompanied by the faintest of smiles. I knew what He was waiting for.
"Yes, Sir."
~sugar
This one is going to be long and kind of random in parts, but will come together at the end, I promise---just stick with me.
We were cleaning out the basement of Ace's mom's house--she has mountains of stuff stockpiled down there that we tried to organize, but mainly He wanted to re-claim all of the things she saved from when He was a kid. It was quite a bit of work, but very cool to watch His face light up when He found things He has not seen in years and assumed was long gone.
One of the best things He found was a belt that was given to Him when He was just a child. It's much smaller than our other belts, a burgundy colored leather thats very thick and heavy, and has His real name on the front of it. It joined our collection in record time.
I've spent the last week and a half being sick--started as a flu bug that knocked me down for two days and turned into a nasty head cold, with all the sinus/chest gunk and a cough. Then on Thursday afternoon, it morphed into an eye infection.
I didn't think it was much to worry about. My eye was red and sore, but I figured it would take care of itself. Then Friday morning, I woke up and couldn't see out of that eye. I washed it out carefully, and over the course of an hour, I was able to see again but my eye stayed bloodshot and I couldn't stop the tears rolling down my face. Ace was adamant that I call the optometrist.
I hate going to the eye doctor. HATE IT. Mostly the part when they put those drops in my eyes that hurt like hell. My eye doctor actually told me last time that she has never seen any one fight it so much. Not actually swinging or kicking or anything, but I physically cannot hold my eye open and allow something to be put in it, and even when she holds it open it still tries to close. It usually takes at least a couple of tries to get a drop that actually goes in.
Needless to say, with my eye hurting the way it was already, there was no way in heck I was going to have that done. I had already decided that. I tried to shrug it off, doing the "its no big deal.....whatever" stuff. He wasn't having it. We had somewhere we needed to be in less than an hour, so He told me to take the phone with me, get ready to go, and call the doctor. Yeah, yeah....blah blah.
I took the phone with me.....and got ready to go. What's that you ask? Didn't I forget something?? Funny that you should mention it.
I went out to the kitchen and put the phone back. Ace was already there waiting.
"What happened? Did you talk to someone?"
"Uh..........no, no there was no answer..........just a busy signal hon. We need to get going don't we?"
"Yeah, in just a minute here." He walked away and I figured that would be that.
Then a few minutes later, I was standing on the other side of the kitchen when He came back in.
"Ready to go?" I asked. I had my back turned to Him, so I didn't immediately see where He was headed.
"Yeah, I'll just ring the number again here quick before we head out."
My heart sank. I turned around and watched Him get the phone, dial, and then put the phone up to His ear, knowing full well that someone was bound to answer. I figured I was caught, red-handed.
Sure enough, someone answered and He waved me over quickly to take the phone and tell them what was going on. As it turns out, my optometrists (a husband and wife team) are only on call for emergencies on Fridays. YIPEE!! That meant no doctor for me, as I wasn't about to tell them this was an emergency.
And then, of course, the technician working in the office had to go and ask what was going on. Ace was standing right beside me, so I knew "oh, nothing.....everything's fine" wasn't going to cut it. I reluctantly told the tech my symptoms and his immediate reaction was to take down phone numbers where we could be reached as he was calling the doctors right away. Bummer.
A few hours went by and we didn't hear anything, so I figured the good doctors were entitled to their Friday afternoon, and more power to them. However, the tech finally called back and said he had contacted one of them, they were on the way into town, and could I please meet them at the office? Ace was already nodding, so I knew it was over.......I was going to have to go.
I didnt have to have drops put in my eyes there---yay!---but it turns out it is a bacterial infection that has to be treated with, of course, antibiotic eye drops! So under strictest of orders from the doctor, every two hours I have to put warm compresses on the eye for fifteen minutes, followed by a cold compress for five minutes, and then have the eye drop put in. Honestly, in just a day and a half it is working, but this medicine burns like fire in my eye. It's very hard to do, Ace has had to try to fight with me to get it in, but it has been healing the infection.
So, while I have been sick I have been trying to keep myself and my temper under control, but I am really evil when I am sick. I have been being careful though, and trying to just stay quiet if nothing else. Ace decided tonight that I needed some maintenance. I couldn't argue, its been awhile and I've been rather emotional/needy/feisty/cranky/etc. lately. He's put up with alot out of me the last few days, so I decided to try to be obedient/submissive to Him tonight. I immediately changed into appropriate spanking attire (He has set down rules for how I have to be dressed for this) and met Him in the bedroom.
He spanked me hard with His hand, the Mandatum paddle, the silver hairbrush and a few other items before deciding it was time to try out the newest addition.....the belt we found the day before. As I mentioned above, it is shorter and not as wide across as our other two belts, but is at least twice as thick as any leather implement we have. Ace gave me a few swats with it, then asked me to compare it to the other belt He uses the most often. I found I liked this smaller belt better. It actually hurts a bit more, but in a different way. There is almost no sting to this smaller belt at all--it is very, very heavy and the impact goes deep. I prefer this over sting, as it lasts longer. Ace actually commented that this was leaving marks on me, which never ever happens no matter what He uses, and it was quite an effect for such a small belt.
He started out slowly with it and built up in intensity. Halfway through, He had me stand up so He could pile up the pillows in the middle of the bed, then made me lay over them so He could keep going. It was very intense at the end, and I was struggling to stay in position, so He gave me just a few more and then stopped. By this time, I was out of breath and had serious marks forming on my backside. Ace laid down behind me and pulled me back into His arms to cuddle/soothe after such a hard spanking.
But there was only one thing I could think about. Since the second we walked into the bedroom, I had decided I needed to confess to Ace about the little fib I told about calling the doctor. I had been thinking about it all during the spanking He had given me, trying to decide if I was brave enough to admit it, or if I could count this spanking as punishment enough for it and let it go. I knew better than that. My conscience wasn't letting me off that easy. I had to tell Him.
<sigh>
"Babe?"
"Yeah?"
"I have something I have to tell you."
"What is it? Wait, lemme guess......you can take more than that? Do you seriously want more?"
"No, no....that's not it at all! I just kinda have to tell you something"
"What is it?"
"I don't know if I want to tell you!"
"Uh oh, why not??"
"Well, it certainly doesn't bode well for me, especially in this position."
"Tell me."
"Well, I might have, kinda sorta, told you a bit of a fib about calling the doctor today."
He raised up on his elbow and looked over my shoulder into my eyes, doing the one eyebrow raised you are in trouble look.
"You did what?"
<deep breath>
"I kinda, actually told you a bit of a lie this morning when I said I called Dr. ______."
"Uh huh.....I see. So, you never actually called them at all." (said as a statement)
"No, Sir, I didn't."
"You just decided to tell me that you did." (That doesnt sound good!)
"Yeah, I guess. But I wasn't trying to lie.....I just hate going there, and my eye hurt already, and I didn't want them to put those evil drops in there........and I just didn't want to go! I hate it!!!!"
"I can understand that, but do you understand that you had to go? This is not something that was going to take care of itself you know! And lying to me about it??" He trailed off.
"I'm sorry Babe, I really wasnt expecting you to come back and decide to call them yourself." (not exactly sure why I said that!!)
"Well, its a darn good thing for you that I did isnt it?"
I just nodded. I told Him how I was sure He was going to question me after He called and that I was certain He knew that He had caught me already. He replied that He never had that thought at all, because He trusted me that I had done what He asked. That really hurt to hear. I had betrayed His trust in me and been disrespectful to Him as the leader in our home. Tears welled up in my eyes, and I told Him I was sorry, that my intention was not to lie to Him.......I just didnt want to go.
He told me again that He could understand how I felt, but that I needed to share those feelings with Him and let Him help me through it, rather than being disobedient and lying to Him. He had me cradled in His arms as He said it, and He lectured me a little more about my behavior, but I knew I had more than just a lecture coming.
"Are you going to spank me again?" I whispered the question, although I knew the answer already.
"Yes, I am. You just cannot lie to me. I can't let you get away with that."
The tears were back as He put me in position again. I fully expected Him to take the belt back up, but He leaned down and softly told me:
"You're lucky you've had such a hard spanking already tonight. I'm going to give you 25 more, hard, with my hand, and then we are going to forget about this. Do you understand?"
I just nodded my head and braced myself for it. Two swats in I was in full out tears, and by the end I was openly crying......something that hasn't happened in a very long time. It took Ace by surprise, and He was kind enough to get me some tissues and a drink of water before taking me back into His arms. I apologized again, and He soothed me. When I calmed down, He asked if I was alright and why that had made me cry when I have taken harder before. It wasnt the spanking that made me cry---it was the acknowledgement that I had looked right at Him and lied to Him when He trusted me and I told Him it hurt my heart to know that I had disrespected Him that way. My conscience was still bothering me---He had let me off very easy considering I lied directly to Him. I was worried He was going to resent me for it and I told Him so. He looked me right in the eyes:
"Listen, I dont want you feeling that way. I am not angry at you, and this is over. I don't even want you to think about it anymore, ok? It's over now."
I just nodded and started to leave the room. He caught me halfway across and pulled me into a hug. I melted into His arms. A few minutes later, He pushed back to look down at me and I lowered my eyes.
"Look at me." Not a request, a command I obeyed immediately.
"I love you Mae." My heart soared.
"I love you too."
"Now, go get everything ready for tomorrow and get to bed."
I nodded again and started to move past Him when I heard Him quietly clear His throat. I looked back at Him and saw one eyebrow raised and an expectant look on His face, accompanied by the faintest of smiles. I knew what He was waiting for.
"Yes, Sir."
~sugar
Friday, April 20, 2012
I dare you to move
So, apparently I missed my blog-a-versary.
My very first post was April 13 2011. Since then, I've posted 69 times and, according to thestupid new blogger layout thingy, I've had 18,577 page views. Thats much more than I thought!
I was gonna post this the other day, but now seems like a better time (procrastination isnt always a bad thing!) I put this elsewhere earlier this week--I really love this song.
I had plans to make an entirely different blog post, but since its my blog-a-versary, I'll put it here: my "bucket list", the things I want to do before I kick it (or, for now, the vanilla ones).
1. See Vincent Van Gogh's Starry Night.
2. Perform in a Cirque du Soleil show.
3. Spend an hour(or a day, or a year) with Howard Gardner.
4. Go to Italy, France, England, China, Scotland, anywhere in the Carribean, Africa....this list could go on! :)
5. To have a sound proof room, a piano, and Brian Wilson(the artist, not the athlete) for an hour (or a few)and see what awesomness comes out of it.
6. To go on a shoe drop with Tom's Shoes.
7. To take The Walk.
8. To go to all of the 50 states (this is much easier/faster than listing all the big cities!)
9. Write a book.
10. To finish my college career! (Almost there, but it feels like its been forever!!!)
If you look at numbers 4 and 8, and think about all the things to see in those places, they are all on the list but it would take forever to type them all out. There are alot of things in there, but the first 7 especially are very important to me. These are all things I want to do someday. I'll keep the not vanilla list to myself, at least for now :)
To those of you who read/follow---especially the ones who have been with me this whole year---thank you so much! A very special thank you goes out to Joey, who was my first follower and has been the most faithful reader I have.
~sugar
My very first post was April 13 2011. Since then, I've posted 69 times and, according to the
I was gonna post this the other day, but now seems like a better time (procrastination isnt always a bad thing!) I put this elsewhere earlier this week--I really love this song.
I had plans to make an entirely different blog post, but since its my blog-a-versary, I'll put it here: my "bucket list", the things I want to do before I kick it (or, for now, the vanilla ones).
1. See Vincent Van Gogh's Starry Night.
2. Perform in a Cirque du Soleil show.
3. Spend an hour(or a day, or a year) with Howard Gardner.
4. Go to Italy, France, England, China, Scotland, anywhere in the Carribean, Africa....this list could go on! :)
5. To have a sound proof room, a piano, and Brian Wilson(the artist, not the athlete) for an hour (or a few)and see what awesomness comes out of it.
6. To go on a shoe drop with Tom's Shoes.
7. To take The Walk.
8. To go to all of the 50 states (this is much easier/faster than listing all the big cities!)
9. Write a book.
10. To finish my college career! (Almost there, but it feels like its been forever!!!)
If you look at numbers 4 and 8, and think about all the things to see in those places, they are all on the list but it would take forever to type them all out. There are alot of things in there, but the first 7 especially are very important to me. These are all things I want to do someday. I'll keep the not vanilla list to myself, at least for now :)
To those of you who read/follow---especially the ones who have been with me this whole year---thank you so much! A very special thank you goes out to Joey, who was my first follower and has been the most faithful reader I have.
~sugar
Monday, April 9, 2012
A week in Disney World----or Walt Disney the Spanko(part 2)?
We've finally made it home from our much needed vacation-spent a lovely week in Florida, first in St. Augustine and then in Disney. We had a great week, our daughter had awesome experiences there, and now we are home safe and sound.
Ok, so anyone who has travelled with me knows I am terrible at it. Looking back at past years, I'm ashamed to admit that as soon as vacation starts, my submission and self control tend to take a vacation as well. This year, I was determined to do better. I didnt want to be frustrating Ace and feeling out of control. I warned Ace that He better give me an attitude check before we even left, or risk another year of the same from me. He laughed, but agreed wholeheartedly, promising not only a spanking, but one the night before we were leaving so I would feel it on the road (its a 22 hour drive!).
I had been spanked a few days previously--get this, for planning the trip! Apparently, admitting to "plotting and planning", even when its something good, is still a good reason to earn a spanking! (Ok, actually there was a little more sassiness/teasing involved, but if thats not Top logic, I dont know what is!! :P)
The days before we left were chaotic, as usual. We spent our days running around, checking and double checking to make sure we had all of our reservations in order, everything we needed for the trip packed up(and then some) and of course, in the jumble.....the "getting her attitude in the right place before she melts down" spanking was forgotten. I would be lying if I said I didnt resent that a bit, but "miss confident" came out and I shrugged it off. I didnt need a spanking! I could be good all by myself! Just watch me!!!
And I was.
For the first few days.
And then. Theres always that "then". Little by little, I was slipping. I caught myself a few times and straightened up.....He mostly ignored it, although there were a few pointed looks and quiet warnings. He even braved a swat or two, and if you have ever been to one of these parks, you know how hard that is to do! People and Disney employees everywhere, all watching either directly or via security cameras. You are never alone in those parks. And I was taking advantage of it!
At one point I was going all independent/confident/toppy on Him, pointedly pretending not to see the warning looks and asking Him what He thought He was gonna do about it.
"You cant do anything about it here" I laughed. He smiled back.
"Thats true, but remember we wont always be here". (accompanied with a swat).
Oy! :)
Ace's sister went with us on this trip, and she offered to stay with our little one most of the time we were down there, so Ace and I had alot of time to ourselves. During this time, He visited the:
where He found some motivation:
And He found a few tools to assist in the process:
And of course, being the good Top that He is, He was also thinking of after care:
We were both completely worn out last night after getting home late and then spending hours unpacking everything, but He was determined to try out the new toys. I hadnt been spanked in almost two weeks, so I was in no hurry to get back to it. I was just fine waiting until another night, when we wouldnt be so tired out.
Thats why He is the Top, and I am not. :) He had made up His mind that I was getting a "tryout" spanking, although He promised (warned?) me that this was not going to be the full out spanking I have coming just yet <sigh>. And so, I found myself across the bed getting acquainted with the newbies. He started with His hand, and even over jeans I was squirming within a few minutes time. Its amazing how sensitive I have become in two weeks of inactivity. He complained that the jeans were in the way, and they were quickly gone. A few more with His hand and then He started with the bamboo spoons. The flat, spatula looking one and the regular wooden spoon felt the same, light and very stingy...no thud whatsoever, and relatively easy to take. The spoon with the holes drilled in it was another story!! That little thing HURTS! We were both surprised at how much more impact it had on me than the other two, and needless to say it became Ace's favorite of the three. He spanked me with the "handy helper" (His name for it) for a few minutes, and it is very much like the spoons--stings a lot and was a little louder.
By that time, Ace commented that I was turning dark red very quickly, and He had never seen my body react that way...........it had Him a bit worried that He was doing too much too soon, so He made the decision to stop. It had been almost two weeks since we had a moment alone, so it didnt take long for our attention to turn to each other, and catching up a bit. ;)
We had a great vacation and I am still tired but happy. I expect the promised spanking will occur tonight---I am sure He wants to test out the toys a bit more, and then there is last week to be discussed <sigh> The mickey ice cubes are standing by........
~sugar
Ok, so anyone who has travelled with me knows I am terrible at it. Looking back at past years, I'm ashamed to admit that as soon as vacation starts, my submission and self control tend to take a vacation as well. This year, I was determined to do better. I didnt want to be frustrating Ace and feeling out of control. I warned Ace that He better give me an attitude check before we even left, or risk another year of the same from me. He laughed, but agreed wholeheartedly, promising not only a spanking, but one the night before we were leaving so I would feel it on the road (its a 22 hour drive!).
I had been spanked a few days previously--get this, for planning the trip! Apparently, admitting to "plotting and planning", even when its something good, is still a good reason to earn a spanking! (Ok, actually there was a little more sassiness/teasing involved, but if thats not Top logic, I dont know what is!! :P)
The days before we left were chaotic, as usual. We spent our days running around, checking and double checking to make sure we had all of our reservations in order, everything we needed for the trip packed up(and then some) and of course, in the jumble.....the "getting her attitude in the right place before she melts down" spanking was forgotten. I would be lying if I said I didnt resent that a bit, but "miss confident" came out and I shrugged it off. I didnt need a spanking! I could be good all by myself! Just watch me!!!
And I was.
For the first few days.
And then. Theres always that "then". Little by little, I was slipping. I caught myself a few times and straightened up.....He mostly ignored it, although there were a few pointed looks and quiet warnings. He even braved a swat or two, and if you have ever been to one of these parks, you know how hard that is to do! People and Disney employees everywhere, all watching either directly or via security cameras. You are never alone in those parks. And I was taking advantage of it!
At one point I was going all independent/confident/toppy on Him, pointedly pretending not to see the warning looks and asking Him what He thought He was gonna do about it.
"You cant do anything about it here" I laughed. He smiled back.
"Thats true, but remember we wont always be here". (accompanied with a swat).
Oy! :)
Ace's sister went with us on this trip, and she offered to stay with our little one most of the time we were down there, so Ace and I had alot of time to ourselves. During this time, He visited the:
 |
| Actual sign found in Tomorrow Land part of the Magic Kingdom |
where He found some motivation:
 |
| The beatings will continue until morale improves |
 |
Set of 3 bamboo Mickey spoons |
And of course, being the good Top that He is, He was also thinking of after care:
 |
| Mickey shaped re-freezable ice cubes |
Thats why He is the Top, and I am not. :) He had made up His mind that I was getting a "tryout" spanking, although He promised (warned?) me that this was not going to be the full out spanking I have coming just yet <sigh>. And so, I found myself across the bed getting acquainted with the newbies. He started with His hand, and even over jeans I was squirming within a few minutes time. Its amazing how sensitive I have become in two weeks of inactivity. He complained that the jeans were in the way, and they were quickly gone. A few more with His hand and then He started with the bamboo spoons. The flat, spatula looking one and the regular wooden spoon felt the same, light and very stingy...no thud whatsoever, and relatively easy to take. The spoon with the holes drilled in it was another story!! That little thing HURTS! We were both surprised at how much more impact it had on me than the other two, and needless to say it became Ace's favorite of the three. He spanked me with the "handy helper" (His name for it) for a few minutes, and it is very much like the spoons--stings a lot and was a little louder.
By that time, Ace commented that I was turning dark red very quickly, and He had never seen my body react that way...........it had Him a bit worried that He was doing too much too soon, so He made the decision to stop. It had been almost two weeks since we had a moment alone, so it didnt take long for our attention to turn to each other, and catching up a bit. ;)
We had a great vacation and I am still tired but happy. I expect the promised spanking will occur tonight---I am sure He wants to test out the toys a bit more, and then there is last week to be discussed <sigh> The mickey ice cubes are standing by........
~sugar
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