An Update and a Holiday Wish for You (yeah you!!) :)

Its been a crazy couple of weeks. Its that time of the year when everything just gets really busy and it feels like a constant struggle to just catch up with everything that needs to get done. For the first time in weeks, today I feel like I am getting there. :)

I've spent the last few weeks feeling pretty sick. It started with a little cold that I had around Thanksgiving. We are trying to move to using homeopathic and holistic treatments whenever we can as more often than not traditional medicines do not actually heal the body, they just temporarily treat the symptoms. This started when my littles had a cold/cough and we bought her meds for it over the counter than did nothing to help her at all. In fact, they seemed to be making her worse, so we stopped them, and moved to homeopathic treatment that had her not only feeling better, but actually healed within two days. So, when I came down with a cold, I used the same treatments that seemed to be working the week prior to Thanksgiving. Two days after the holiday, the cold came back and almost instantly morphed into a sinus infection. I hate going to the doctor for anything I can fix myself, so I tried to do so with natural remedies and kept telling myself it wasn't that bad. After two weeks, it reached the point that I was having pain in my face and head beyond anything that could be treated at home--my headaches had reached the point of migraines, actually making me physically sick from pain. I finally broke and went to the ER late on a Saturday night. The doctor found that in addition to the one in my face, the infection had spread through my head and into my neck, which is actually quite serious. I was given a high dose of  IV antibiotics there, then put on two long weeks of high dose ones at home three times a day (!), with the warning that if the headaches didn't stop by Tuesday I would have to return and it would mean a hospital stay and surgery to clear out the infection.

Thankfully, that didn't happen. I would love to say that I faithfully took my meds like a good patient....yeah, right. I did, for the first week. And then I started to feel better, the headaches stopped, and my face didn't hurt quite as much, so I started slipping into a habit of taking them whenever I happened to remember to. Ace was pretty patient about it at first, reminding me that I didn't want to run the risk of a hospital stay and of course He was right, so I tried to be obedient and remember. But, after a few more times of forgetting (over the course of a few days, give me a break!) He put His foot down and spanked me soundly for it. Now, almost two weeks later, I am feeling almost completely well, and thank goodness because I don't have any more time to be sick!!

Littles had her fall dance recital, her birthday party with her friends (which was extremely hectic!) and now she has a Christmas program tonight and her birthday on Monday, followed by crazy Christmas week. She is also excited because today her new cousin will be born and we cant wait to go visit my sister in the hospital tomorrow and meet this precious little girl! :) (On a side note, she is being named somewhat after me, with a first name that is close to mine and my middle name, and I couldn't be more honored or thrilled that her mother chose this name for her!!)

There has been a little tension around Ace's family. I am chalking it up to the holidays and a difficult situation that has come up regarding his grandmother. His mother is looking at the real possibility that her mother will have to be put into a care facility, as it has reached the point that Ace and I do not feel we can competently care for her here at home. His mother blames me for this, she thinks I am being selfish and I just don't want to do this. In reality, His grandmother is not right in her mind, and constantly engages in activity that could cause great harm to herself or us, often without even realizing that she is doing it. She swallows things that she thinks are food, she leaves the house and wanders outside, she has set the house on fire.....its a daily struggle, and we feel she could be better taken care of by those whose job is to watch and protect the elderly. Its very hard for us to do this around all of our other obligations. We cannot guarantee she will be safe here at home any longer.

On a more positive note, I've just submitted the final assignment of my college career. I am the first person in my family who has ever attended college, and I will graduate with honors. There is still some regret tangled up in all of this, but for now I am stepping back away from it and trying to focus on the fact that this is an accomplishment for someone like me, who never had any hope of going to college when I graduated high school. I found a way to make it work, and I finished it (even though its not the program I wanted to complete) and that's enough for now.

Finally, I want to re-post something I put on social media earlier this week. I grew up in an uber-religious home and community, so all over the social media everyone has been shouting about putting Christ back in Christmas and how wrong it is to acknowledge or celebrate any other holidays or ideas that don't center around Christian ideals. I personally find it ridiculous that they are arguing this around a holiday that actually has nothing to do with Christ, except for that someone somewhere once decided to make that the day of observation of his birth (there's ALOT of evidence that he was born nowhere near this time of the year!). I am not trying to bash anyone or their beliefs, I just do not understand why those who profess to be "Christians" have the most hostile and in-your-face tactics for announcing what they believe. I have never seen Jewish people insisting that we should say "Happy Hanukkah" or Africans insisting we should say "Happy Kwanza"......its only the "Christians"--the ones who are supposed to personify God's love--who feel it necessary to insist that we say "Merry CHRISTmas" because it is their holiday, so therefore more important than anyone else's (you can probably tell, I was a thorn in the side of my "religious" community growing up, its just too hypocritical for me to accept). And so with all of the arguments flying around, I posted a status on social media about it. I will tell you that it was not well-received by those I grew up with, but those I know now and who truly know me get it:

"This has been on my mind a lot so here goes: This season, I'm saying "Happy Holidays". Why? Am I anti-Christ or something? Do I want to take "Christ" out of Christmas? That would be a resounding no. Folks, holidays broken down is actually "holy days"....by saying happy holidays, I am really saying that no matter who you are, what you believe, or what you celebrate, my hope for you is that, especially during this season, you will be happy, blessed, and know the joy of having friends and family near you. Its not a proclamation against any religion or belief system, but rather an all encompassing wish to everyone as they celebrate the many special days that fall in this time of year. So, on that note....I hope you have very happy holidays (whatever they may be to you)!"

 

And that, my friends, is my wish for you also. I hope this season finds you happy and surrounded by those you love and who love you. That's what it should be about.

 

~sugar

 



Shine on until tomorrow......

Press play.

~sugar


*Disclaimer* Video by whoever it says its by, posted on YouTube. Music and lyrics by the Beatles and property of whomever owns them (not me!).

Over and forgotten

He found her sitting at the kitchen table, her hand to her forehead, clicking back and forth between pages on the computer and muttering curses under her breath.

"So, is everything ready?" His voice startled her. In one fluid motion, she turned around to glare at him, and raised her hand, barely resisting the urge to throw the ink pen she grasped at his head. He registered her behavior and attitude and quickly changed gears directly into Husband mode.

" ----Mae, don't you even think about it!" He broke out her full name, and He knew he had her. She quietly put the pen down, and dropped her eyes as He quickly came to stand in front of her. How is it that He always seems so much taller standing over me in moments like this? she thought to herself as she waited for the reprimand to begin.

"What in the world were you thinking, raising your hand to me?" He couldn't hide the anger in His voice. "That's a pretty extreme, and dangerous, reaction to a simple question.....what the heck's the matter with you?" His voice had softened a bit, He could see something was wrong and He knew she was trying to tell Him by her actions rather than having to open up.

"I'm sorry, Babe.....I am so sorry, I don't know why I just did that....." He took her by the hand and led her to the couch so they could sit facing each other, on the same level.

"I don't think that's true. I think you know why you did it, you just don't want to have to talk about it so you got yourself in trouble to avoid a conversation about what's bothering you."

"No, hon, I promise that's not it....." He had become a real stickler about her keeping things from Him--anything that might even come close to hiding or holding back would automatically ramp up the consequences.

"Its not going to work, Mae. Tell me what's wrong, and I want the truth".

"I'm sorry, Babe. I'm just frustrated right now. I was working on an assignment and that damn computer glitched and messed everything up and I had to start all over, and I didn't have it saved so I'm re-writing from memory and I know its not as good as it was the first time, and I have so many other things I have to get done that I can't because that cost me extra time, including that one thing you told me to have ready before you came back from work, and I didn't get it done and I know what you told me was going to happen if I didn't and........well, I just don't want to be spanked! It wasn't my fault!" Everything came tumbling out as she fought down the urge to give into her emotions and cry. She sat quietly, taking deep breaths to hold back the tears, and waited.

"First of all, I love you, you know that?" She nodded. "Second, we have spoken about your language before. I don't want you using curse words. You know what the consequence is for forgetting, and especially for using them when you are angry or upset. I know you are flying high on emotions right now, but I want you to remember how you are speaking". She did indeed remember the consequence. Great, she thought, that's going to cost me.

"Now about this thing you were supposed to have ready...." They needed a particular service, and she had been trying for weeks to make a decision about who to contract. He had finally given her a deadline to have a decision made, get the invoice for the service, and forward it to him. She had narrowed it down to three candidates, but made it no further. "I know you've been struggling with this decision, that's why I gave you a deadline to have it done".

"I'm sorry, hon, you know how indecisive I can be" she broke in. "I just cant make up my mind, and I am worried I'll regret the choice I make."

"I don't think its just a matter of indecision. When did you start seriously looking at the choices with the intent to choose one? We started this weeks ago, and its been more than a full week since I gave you the deadline. That's more than enough time to choose. I think you've put it off until you couldn't any more and you ran out of time."

Dang, he's good... she thought to herself. She brooked no argument because she had none to make. He was right and He knew it as well as she did.

"That's what I thought. I know this has been addressed before...putting things off, dodging responsibility, and not staying focused on what you are supposed to be getting done. I'm giving you an hour, and you better make a decision in that time. We'll be talking about this tonight."

She scrambled to grab her computer and get to work. Half an hour later, the decision was made, He was in His office working again, and she contacted the chosen candidate to let them know they would be given the honors. She had already asked for estimates from each of the three, so all she needed now was the invoice. She sent a message asking the candidate to send it to her, and from there she would forward it on to Him for the final perusal and payment. When He came back, He found her much more calm as she announced that she had just forwarded Him the invoice from her email.

"Great, that's all taken care of then." She came and stood before Him, eyes downcast, gently biting at her bottom lip, her tell-tale guilty sign. He wrapped His arms around her, and she buried herself in Him, whispering her apologies again for her behavior.

"Let's don't worry about it now....we'll talk about it later, and then it will be over and forgotten". Even knowing what was coming, she thrilled at that promise. Over and forgotten, exactly as it should be. That was all she wanted.

Just then, the phone rang......a family situation had come up He needed to go take care of. She was disappointed He would be away from her, but knew it was only a short matter of time before He would be back. He kissed her goodbye at the door and gave her a swat on her backside.

"I'll be back in a little while, and we'll get everything straightened out. Be good. I love you".

"Yes Sir, I love you too". 

*********************************************

A few hours later, she finally heard Him pull into the garage. When He came into the house, she could see that He was worn out and wondered if she might have forgotten the promise He made earlier. She moved quietly throughout the house, taking care of little chores and things she knew He would appreciate her doing. He found her in the kitchen doing mindless little things, but when He took her hand she knew it was time.

"Go to the bedroom now, and get ready. I'll be there in a few minutes."

She went slowly to the bedroom and changed into her pajamas, then sat on the edge of the bed to wait for Him. After what seemed like half of forever, she finally heard Him coming. She took a deep breath to steady herself and remembered why this was happening. She truly hated it, but deep down she knew it was the only way to over and forgotten, and that was all she wanted.

He sat down beside her and took her hand.

"You know why we're here". It wasn't a question, but a statement. She nodded in response.

"Tell me." He knew it would hurt her to say it, but He wasn't letting her off with just a nod.

"Because I lost my head for a moment and raised my hand to you".

"And, why else are we here?"

She sighed deeply before replying. "Because I didn't meet your deadline. I had weeks to get that done and I procrastinated and ran out of time".

"Is there anything else you're forgetting?" She jumped at the question. He couldn't possibly mean that other thing.....could He?!? Her thoughts raced, should she tell the truth and have everything out? It would only mean more trouble! her mind screamed. Yes, but what if He already knows and He is waiting to see if I tell Him? Or, even worse, what if He finds out about it later? Then I have been hiding it, and it will be that much worse! Luckily for her, He jumped in to save her from her inner argument.

 "You've managed to get yourself in quite a mess already, adding cursing on top of it wasn't a good idea. We've talked about this before, but it clearly hasn't gotten through yet. I will be adding to your spanking for your language, and I hope its the last time I have to address it."

She nodded quietly. Once again, she was in no position to argue. He stood up and pulled her to her feet, then into His arms. He held her there for a moment, then moved her into position, laying across their bed.

He began spanking her with His hand over her pajamas. She jumped at the first impact, but quickly settled down. Realizing it wasn't having much affect on her, He removed her pajama bottoms and switched to their lexan paddle for a few minutes, then began alternating it with his hand and the bamboo spoon until she was wriggling and her bottom was warm to the touch. Finally He stopped.

"Get up Mae" He moved her into a kneeling position in the middle of the bed while He moved the pillows, stacking them up directly in front of her. She swallowed back the tears, she knew what the pillows were there for. "Get over the pillows now" he commanded as He turned away from her. She slowly put herself in position, dreading what was coming next.

"The spanking I gave you was for your language and for not meeting the deadline. For raising your hand to me, you're getting the cane."

She squeezed her eyes shut tight, and waited for it. The first stroke took her breath away. By the fifth, she was crying. On the sixth, the cane in His hand splintered, although she would not find this out until later. He picked up another of their canes and laid four more stripes across her bottom before throwing it down. She was openly crying and He could see she was trembling. He moved her off the pillows and covered her gently with a blanket, then left the room quietly and came back with tissues and water for her. He wiped away her tears, and gave her a drink, then held her until she was calm.

When she was able to find her voice, she whispered again that she was sorry. He told her no more, it was over and forgotten and that was it. He laid her back down, gently, on her stomach and began to run His hands down her back. When his fingers traced the lines on her bottom, she flinched and whimpered, expecting more than just a soft touch. He reassured her, no more, it was over, and He felt her relax under His hands. After a few more minutes, He turned her on her side and laid down behind her, pulling her into a spooning position against Him. 

"I love you Mae, and I want you to believe in yourself. You missed the deadline because you were doubting your ability to make a good decision. You have to trust yourself more. But I also know that this procrastination issue has been a problem for you before, and I don't want you to fall back into it. It just makes you stress out and that's not a healthy way to go about life. From now on, I'm going to crack down on you for this. Your responsibilities will have deadlines, and if they aren't met, we'll be right back here. I'll do whatever I have to do to help you.....I want to see you be successful and to trust your own abilities but it has to come from you. You are going to have to choose to end this mindset of always putting things off until the last minute. I know you can get past this, and I'll be right here with you".

She snuggled in closer to Him. She knew He was right, this was a recurring problem for her, and one she should have been able to handle by now. Her conscience pricked at her to tell Him the truth. I've just been spanked and caned for goodness sake! I can't tell Him now! But she knew better. She knew she couldn't keep it from Him and many times in this position--first humbled and then held in His arms--she found herself whispering things she might never have told Him otherwise. She turned towards Him, and He noticed she was biting her bottom lip. Uh-oh, He thought, she's got a guilty conscience about something. He decided not to pressure her, to wait until she was ready to tell Him as He knew she would eventually. He knew there was something about being here, after being spanked, made her open up to Him in ways she rarely ever did. Now if only I could get her to do that without having to spank her first! He thought. They were working on it, and He had to admit that she was getting better at not hiding things from Him.

"Ummmmm, Babe............I have something I need to tell you" she whispered. He re-positioned Himself so He could look directly at her, instead of her speaking to His chest.

"What is it baby?" His voice was quiet and loving, He knew how difficult this had to be for her after just taking such a hard punishment.

"Well, um, you know that other thing I was supposed to do? That paperwork I was supposed to have filled out and in the mail already?" It was something she had needed to do, and He had told her to have it done long before now. The paperwork itself had a deadline for being turned in, but He had also given her an expectation for having it done and sent several weeks ago so it would arrive long before it was due.

"You didn't miss that deadline did you?!?" The concern in His voice was clear. It would severely cost her if she had, in more ways than one.

"No, no I checked it again because I thought I might have, but I have a few more weeks yet" she explained quickly.

"But, you didn't send it out when I told you to, is that it?" She nodded, biting her bottom lip. "And you've continued to brush it off, and decided to hide it from me until now?"

Yikes!

"It sounds worse when you say it like that, Sir" she said softly. "I'm sorry." At least He knows now her conscience tried to soothe her. She waited for Him to decide what to do with her. He sighed.

"What am I going to do with you, ---Mae?" She didn't venture a guess. He seemed lost in thought for a moment before speaking.

"Alright, how long will it take you to fill out that form and have it ready to go?"

"Um, less than ten minutes Sir" was her honest answer.

"Ten minutes" He repeated, shaking His head. Only ten minutes, but she hadn't found time to get it done in all of these weeks. He got up off of the bed and gently turned her back over onto her stomach.

"What are you going to do?" There was a slight edge of panic in her voice.

"Because it will take you ten minutes to get that done, and you haven't yet, I am going to whip you ten times with my belt and then this will be over."

He saw her tremble as she heard Him unbuckle and pull off His belt. She had only ever been spanked once after being caned, an event that had been forever etched in her memory. It had hurt then, and that was only a hand. She could not imagine being spanked with a belt after having just been caned. I must have misheard Him she thought. But a glance over her shoulder told her otherwise. His belt was folded over in His hand, and there was a grim look of determination on His face. She pleaded with her eyes, but she knew it was no use.

The first stroke brought tears back to her eyes. Halfway through she was openly sobbing and begging Him to stop. He fought the urge to give in to her cries and let her off. She'll never learn if I don't follow through. He steeled himself, and quickly brought it to an end.

He returned His belt to its place, gently picked her up, and sat on their bed with her in His arms, letting her finish crying out all the tears. Within a few minutes she finally began to quiet, and soon He noticed her breathing deeply as she fell asleep cradled in His arms. He laid her down gently, kissed her, and covered her with a blanket. She stirred at his touch and began to whisper apologies again. He hushed her, and told her to go to sleep...it was over and forgotten.

Over and forgotten she thought.

It was all she wanted.


~sugar

Moving forward

We're still growing, still moving forward. Its a process right now as we are changing a lot of things around. Its surprising how many steps there are, how many bumps in the road we iron out just to get to the next one. All necessary of course, and its been good for us.

I had disagreed with something that happened last week. I had come home from work, tired and frustrated (and sick) and a situation arose in which I became even more upset and I allowed it to show a very little bit in both words and actions. According to Ace, I lost my temper. But I honestly felt like I was simply sharing my frustration. I kept my voice quiet, even though there was anger. I kept myself as calm as I could, I didn't slam doors or stomp or shout or do anything like that. But the little bit of frustration I let out came across to Him as though I was losing my temper.

As I mentioned before, He didn't address it that day. The next day, He told me I would be getting spanked for it. I fought the urge to run to Him all day, to tell Him that I disagreed and try to explain it away. Because a lot of times, I feel like certain people are provoking me, trying to get me angry and doing things they know are hurtful to me. The other person in this situation (not Ace) is one of those people. And its constant, and it hurts, and it gets old after awhile! I just was not in any mood to put up with that person's pettiness--on top of everything else--that day. And all of this was what I wanted to tell Him, but in the end I didn't because I thought He would think I was just making excuses and trying to get out of it. And so I kept it all in, and when He told me it was time, I allowed Him to spank me, even though I didn't agree with it.

And then, the other night He decided it was time for maintenance. I submitted again, at least for the first few minutes. But it was really harsh, harder than He had given me a few nights before for the temper issue (which is a rule) and it was confusing me--He was telling me it was to help me keep our rules at the front of my mind, but He was spanking me harder than He did for a punishment. It wasn't right and I finally asked Him for a moment to speak to Him. I started trying to explain, but I was feeling a little overwhelmed, and I once again worried that He would think I was just trying to stop Him or get out of the spanking. Unfortunately, it became one of those "never mind" moments, and He spanked me a little more before deciding to end it--He knew as well as I did that it wasn't working.

Finally, last night we talked about it. Actually, yesterday afternoon and evening both. We had a lot we needed to cover. And I tried something new--I went to Him, allowed Him to wrap me up in His arms, and I spilled it all out. About feeling set up by His family sometimes---there are times I swear they know He spanks me, and they provoke me to get me angry knowing I'll catch it later. I know its not true, it honestly feels that way sometimes. About feeling that I hadn't "lost it", on the contrary, with how terrible I was feeling, I had only allowed a very small part of my frustration to show, but even though I had controlled it, I still ended up being punished for sharing that little bit. And how that made me feel if I come home from work after a crappy day and I share that with him, or share frustration about anything else, it will come across wrong to Him and I will end up in trouble for it. Because of that, I've been coming home and telling Him everything was fine, and when the same family member moved from verbally abusive to physically aggressive I held it back and didn't tell Him, because I couldn't say it without there being anger in my voice and I didn't want to get spanked for it.

 I shared with Him that I don't know what the threshold is, how much I can say or let out before it becomes a broken rule. I didn't think I had broken it, He did. Clearly, we needed to redefine what this entails and where the limit is. We also needed to talk--and we did--about the maintenance issue. It took us some time to iron that one out, but we fixed it. I told Him I was worried He had ended the spanking too soon because He felt I was blaming Him when I tried to talk to Him about it---that I was just pointing out what He was doing wrong. Throughout this very long conversation, I found myself constantly saying that I didn't want Him to feel I was blaming Him, that a lot of this could sound like I was just pointing out mistakes He was making, and that's not true. This lifestyle is a lot of work to maintain, and I wasn't doing my fair share of it. He was trying His best, but He needed honest feedback, and He wasn't getting it.

That's always been the hardest part for me, opening up and communicating with Him. It sounds silly, but for me, its always been easier to pull into myself and hold everything in. This is how I have always been, and learning to open up has been a struggle for me. Last night was a big step--going to Him and letting it all out. I have to admit, it felt really good to just rest in His arms and let everything go, share all of my worries and all of the "wrong", and then move forward with Him, fixing and making things right as we went along.

And guess what became a rule? Yup, hiding. I'm not allowed to do it any more. He pulled me into His arms and told me that no matter what it is, I am not to hide anything from Him any more. Even if that means I am angry, or frustrated, or crazy emotional. He wants me to run to Him, wrap myself up in His arms, and together we will fix it just like we did last night.

Its a constant process, but we are moving forward, growing and learning together.

 And its been good.

~sugar

100th post!

Well, this silly little thing I started some odd years ago has reached the milestone of 100 posts. Its rather hard to believe--when I started, I certainly never thought it would last this long, or that I would ever generate 100 posts! I owe a quick shout out to Joey and Lea, who have--from the beginning--been my most loyal readers/commenters. Thanks to you both, and to all of you have commented here--its appreciated! And for the rest of you who are reading--and yes, I know there are quite a few of you--don't be afraid to leave a comment or just let me know who you are. I promise I'll be nice if you will :)

Ace and I just returned from our mini vacation. It was so nice to have that little bit of alone time :) Our arsenal was packed as promised, and well used! :)

The concert--Josh Groban--was unbelievable! I've always wanted to see him perform--it was a perfect way to celebrate our special day! On the way home, I was thinking of a memory from 8 years ago. A few days before our wedding, I made a cd with only one song on it--Josh Groban's "When You Say You Love Me", that so perfectly expressed everything I was feeling going into our special day. The night before our wedding, I snuck it into His car so it would be playing the next morning when He was on the way to the church. :) I knew, preparing for the happiest moment of my life, that this song was what He was listening to, and it will always be special to me for that reason. I've included a video of it here that has the lyrics (and being the grammar geek that I am, it should be breathe, with an e in the first verse, not breath--I didn't make this video, I don't own it, the song, lyrics, all are property of other people respectively, I make no claims to them and no infringement is intended--have to throw that all out there to cover my a**)  :)  Please take a few moments and listen to it though, it is a beautiful song :)

I'm still a very happy girl, and I plan on staying that way!! :) :)

~sugar

Happy girl.... :)

8.

9.

Two little numbers. :)

Its our 8th anniversary this week (the 13th to be exact, and yes I know about the whole 13 thing and what was I thinking---believe me, I've heard every joke and wisecrack there is about having my wedding on the 13th. Rest assured--for at least two people--the 13th (of August) is the luckiest day in the world!)  :)

Let me clarify. Its our 8/9-ths anniversary--eight years married, nine years together. :)

He is taking me to a concert, a performance I have wanted to see for many years but the opportunity never arose. Tonight, He approached me with the idea of going away overnight, which I was more than happy to agree with. We may only be going an hour from home, but that's away for us! :P

Looking forward to this time alone with my love :) He's already promised He will be packing our "arsenal" with us, to which I am (stupidly....bravely....happily....take your pick) adding to, but ssshhh, He doesn't know that yet!

I've pushed all of the craziness away, all of the negativity. I'm wrapping myself up in the knowledge that He loves me, and that's all I need.

And I love Him, more than I could ever say.  :)    

 

~sugar

When someone vanilla finds out......

During the course of our vacation week, a vanilla person (His sister) found out about our lifestyle.

It was one of those "I cant believe that happened" moments. Ace and I each have bracelets we wear with words that are specific to us and this lifestyle. I was rushing to get ready, and I thought I put mine in my bag to slip on later. It wasn't until much later that evening that my sister in law handed it back to me. Turns out, I had left it sitting out and my little one had found it and was wearing it for awhile before sis took it away from her. She didn't mention it directly, but I have to assume she saw the inside, and she while she is vanilla herself, I know she would understand what it means.

She hasn't said anything about it at all actually. I was waiting for it, she and I have always had a pretty good relationship, so I figured it might come up. Being that it hasn't, now I am wondering if its because she didn't notice it, or just because its a little too awkward of a subject between in laws (it seems I'm becoming quite good at manufacturing awkward situations).

And so, there is potentially one vanilla person who knows about us in real life. I don't know exactly what I would say, but I know if she asks I will tell her the truth. I doubt she will and I know she is not the type of person who would share that with anyone else, so our "secret" is safe in that respect. And quite frankly, I really don't care if she does know or tells others either. I can't change who I am/what we are, and I have to say there are a least a few of them who would benefit from some exposure to this type of lifestyle (in other words, a damn good spanking!!) Ok, that thought really makes me laugh! :)

Ace and I spent some much needed time alone last night--some play, but mostly just quiet time together :) I'm starting to feel better--I think a lot of the emotion from the last few weeks has been a result of how crappy I have felt. As I'm finally starting to get better, the overwhelming feeling has been one of just calm. There is still a lot of emotion built up, but I feel really removed from it. Its like a giant cloud off in the distance---I can see it and I know its storming there, and every so often I hear the rumbling of thunder, but for now I'm resting in the calm. I don't know if the storm is moving away or if I am just in the eye of it, but either way I'll be just fine.

Looking forward to some special days--and some time alone with my love--coming up in the next week :)

These last few weeks...part 2

So, as you can see I survived last night. It wasn't an easy night, but its over now.

It started with a situation that's been going on here at home. I thought I would write about it, but now I think I won't. I'm not going to go into details. It has just been a constant situation in which I felt that another member of His family was trying to come between us. This person was taking a lot of His time, and there were things said about me that really hurt.

This was added onto the hurt and disappointment I've been feeling because of events from a few weeks ago and the result of those events, some really awful days at work, and a terrible stomach virus that has left me physically weak and that much more emotional. All of it was stacked up and I was holding it all back, but it came to a head the other morning when I came home from work.

More things were said, more hurt dished out and I allowed my temper to flare just enough to catch Ace's attention. I don't think He realized how much anger I was holding back at that family member in that moment, and added to all of the other hurt/disappointment I had, I don't know how I didn't completely lose it.

It was enough though. He told me to calm down, then took care of the other half of the problem. When he came back to me, I was expecting him to tell me I would be getting spanked, but instead He sent me off alone to have a few minutes of quiet for myself.  I took more than a few, allowed some of the hurt to drain away, and then bottled the rest back up.

I was still expecting my outburst to be addressed, but I was also pretty sick the whole day, so He didn't mention it. I knew it was only a matter of time though. The next day (yesterday) He told me we would be talking about it, as well as one other smaller and unrelated issue.

I had butterflies all day, knowing what was going to happen. When it was finally time, He spanked me hard with His hand, the handle of the wooded spoon, and the lexan. I was in tears in a matter of minutes, but Ace has changed in this respect as well. Before, when I would cry, He would stop. This time, He kept going for quite a good deal longer, until I was beyond fighting or tears and He was sure the message had sunk in.

That wasn't the end of it. Actually, it was only the beginning and only the first of several times I would find myself in tears that night. I let out everything I was holding in, starting with how I felt about the things that had been said/done by the other family member. He hadn't realized just how much that had hurt and the doubts it had given me about us and my place in His family. A lot of tears and a lot of reassurances were needed and given. I also shared with Him all of the doubt/ disappointment I've been carrying since we returned from vacation. He had absolutely no idea I had been carrying that much and how it was affecting me, and when I showed him I had all of that, plus work and being sick and family issues and feeling like I was disappointing Him, it was really too much for me.

He hadn't known about most of it, yet another example of my need to communicate more openly with Him. He made sure to tell me that several times over the course of the evening, to remind me that He's always there for me and will always listen, but He can't read my mind and He doesn't always know there is something bothering me because I am pretty good at hiding it. He doesn't want me to hide anymore, He wants me to open up to Him and let everything come out, even things I don't think are worth His time or are things I feel I should be able to work through myself, and especially things that make me hurt---even if that means feeling like an overly emotional crybaby like I did last night.

And now this morning, I'm feeling much more calm. There is still some of the disappointment/regret from before that I think only time will heal and all I can do is try to let it, slowly and surely, melt away. It will take some time, but it will be better eventually.

I'll be alright. I have my love, and He loves me and in the end it will all be alright.

~sugar

These last few weeks...part 1

Its been a crazy couple of weeks. I've started posts and erased them more times than I can count, debating whether to share or keep holding everything in. So, this will probably end up long and garbled, but its at least two weeks of posts I've been holding back.

I've been having a hard time dealing with a situation that happened a few weeks ago--that led to more situations here at home, and all combined have left me feeling hurt and confused and disappointed. It actually started because of the way Ace was handling me--or, I should say wasn't handling me. His perspective/strategy changed--instead of disciplining for things wrong or giving maintenance to keep me on the right track, He decided to use a strategy of only giving me a spanking for good behavior (His reasoning being if he spanked me for something I was doing wrong, he would be giving attention to it and me, and therefore encouraging the negative behavior to continue). And so, He began ignoring all negative behavior, but that process was making me feel ignored as well. I wasn't looking for a spanking, I didn't purposely act out or brat even knowing He would ignore it. This became a problem even more so when positive behavior was getting ignored too. After more than a month of not being spanked at all, its hard not to take that personally, to feel like whether I was good or bad made absolutely no difference. Adding to the situation was the summer class I was taking--I was having a hard time making myself focus on this class and do the work. I think this was mostly because I am almost finished with school (only one more class) but its taken me a long time, and its been a crazy process for me. I've started and completed 90% of three different programs, only to find they weren't what I wanted to do and then I would switch to another. Now I'm one class away from finishing one of those, but the overwhelming feeling for me is not one of accomplishment for finishing one, but failure for giving up on the other two and how long its taken me just to complete one.

Of course, I took this issue to Ace. He employed the new strategy--He would not spank me for it because He felt it would teach me to continue to procrastinate and make me that much more inattentive to schoolwork. That wasn't helping me. It was leaving me feeling uncared for on top of the focus issue I was still trying to deal with.

And so, I took the issue to someone else. My first real foray into the adult world outside of my own home--the people were nice, but I don't know if I was completely ready for it. By that, I mean I was feeling more than a little overwhelmed/intimidated from the start (which I'm sure was more than evident) and fate jumped in to make a mockery of me. It took a lot of planning to make one situation line up and in a matter of moments it turned into one of the most awkward situations I think I have ever had and I am sure takes the cake for most bizarre the other person has encountered to date. I told Ace before we even left home that it almost felt as if we were trying too hard to make something work, that if it was meant to be it probably wouldn't be that hard. More than a little of that fear/doubt was at play as well. To their credit, the others in this situation handled it gracefully, and for that I am thankful to them.

The professor I had for the summer class taught something I will never forget. Its a way of looking at life in which you analyze the cost--positive and negative, for you and others---to everything you do. Every action you take in life changes the course of your life in some way, and the course of others as well. These changes are the cost of the choice and affect more than just one person, so according to this theory each and every way a choice that can affect you or anyone else should be weighed before that choice is decided on. It gets overwhelming when you really start to think about it, so that's all I will say about it in terms of explanation. I've been thinking about this a lot--especially as it pertains to the situation mentioned above. I walked away from that situation feeling as though it had helped me, but there has definitely been a cost to it, both in terms of others and for Ace and I.

I'm not going into the first one. But I will explain what I mean about the cost to us, which has been both positive and a very little bit negative. Lets get the negative out of the way first, shall we? Coming home from vacation is always hard for me. Its the return to everyday life and responsibilities I was only too happy to put away for a week. I was feeling a little emotional and there was still the issue of how we were--or weren't--working. On top of that, there was an issue regarding miscommunication related to the situation I mentioned above. Ace knew what was happening and why, but He was also upset that I had taken the issue to someone else. Not angry, but more like hurt/confused. I didn't understand why He felt that way--I had brought it to Him, He couldn't/wouldn't address it, so I took it somewhere else when the opportunity came. Take it from experience, its very difficult to explain that to your HOH without making them feel guilty or sound like you are blaming them for it. He thought He was doing what was best, and I told Him many times that I understood that but this strategy just wasn't working.

I told Him I thought it might be in our best interest to stop, as we really weren't engaging in this way of life anyway. He disagreed. We had a long talk about it and rearranged quite a few things. Ace was still working through the miscommunication issue. In short, it came out to a difference in me feeling like I had made clear that the new way of doing things was not working, and Him feeling as though it was incorrect and he could recognize that now, but I hadn't made clear to Him just how this was hurting me and He really had not realized it. I accepted His apology and took a spanking to clear the air/remind me to communicate my needs clearly with Him. This is actually the positive part :) It took a lot of talking and a spanking but we are back on the same wavelength and the reminder was needed.

There have been other positives as well. We have not returned to the way we were before the failed strategy, but have redesigned everything. Ace has been very firm--after our long talk, He set up how we are going to be, which includes rules He will be making for me. I wasn't sure if it would really happen at first, but He was serious about it. He has been making rules for me, and after one warning its been an automatic spanking earned every time so far (which has only been once, but it was a cold (no warm-up) spanking with one of our worst implements so I know what to expect...ouch!). He has also put in place maintenance, or "just because", spankings to address small issues that aren't rules but need to be talked about, or just to use as time for us to be alone and if there are no issues, to play the fun way :) :) 

And so I am enjoying the newness while trying to let go of some guilt/doubt/hurt from other things. I cant change what happened, or the way others feel about me (even though I don't feel they've see who I really am).

 I'll post part 2 separately as it will probably be long as well. It deals with other issues that have come up in the family, and the reason my love has just whispered to me that I'm getting spanked tonight. <sigh>

~sugar

How many do you need?

We are home from an incredible vacation week--three whirlwind days in NYC then two more in Atlantic City. The combined experiences were more than I ever thought they could be. I used blogger to journal the first three days and re-reading the drafts its surprising how much we did just in New York alone. The highlight was our first evening there--a meeting with friends from the community resulting in several new experiences and one in particular that I will never forget :) I may still publish the drafts detailing our trip, but I haven't decided just yet.

After leaving New York, we went to Atlantic City for a concert. Another set of crazy experiences ensued--the first of which being that we were put on the 25(!) floor of the hotel we were staying at. With the exception of flying in an airplane, I've never been that high up and while it made me dizzy, the views were absolutely unreal. We were late making reservations to stay there, which is why I assumed we ended up on a top floor. It turns out, being on the top floor had several significant perks. The first of which was the room itself, which was more than double what our hotel in NYC had been (per day) but was a beautiful room with an amazing view. By the windows, there was a lounging area for taking in the view/relaxing/meditating, as well as creating a unique play space for us.

Our spanking spot in Atlantic City

 

As you can see, this spot was made for spanking. As soon as we were alone, Ace put me in position-facing the windows on my knees. It was such a surreal feeling--to be that high up, to see people below and wonder if they could see me (both in cars going by, and on resort grounds) while being spanked(rather hard, I would say) by my love.

We didn't get a chance to put this to use (unfortunately).




Part of my view, while being spanked by my love :)

 

It wasn't a very long spanking, but one I certainly felt :) One of the other perks we would find about being on this floor of the hotel was that it was originally reserved for the band we were going to see, but in the end they didn't need all of the rooms, so the resort opened up the unused ones, and that is how we ended up on that floor. Which meant we shared not only the same floor with the band, but the same hallway and they were just two doors down from us :) Ace was ecstatic! :) The resort had very high security, and you had to show a room key to go to your floor, so random people couldn't just come up to where we were. Throughout the course of the day, we saw virtually every member of the band, met several of the prominent ones and took casual pics as we all came and went. It was a very cool experience! :) And then, after the concert that night, a huge storm blew in--I've always loved thunderstorms. We went to our room, turned off all the lights and sat at the window watching lightning strike all around us and listening to the rain and thunder. It was an awesome moment that added so much more to the experience. :)

 

The next day, it was time to head back home. We had a long drive ahead of us, so despite a late night, we tried to get up and leave early. We ended up getting semi-lost in Pennsylvania (word to the wise, if you are ever in Pennsylvania, DONT go through "the heart of Allentown". I never felt unsafe at all in NYC, but was petrified going through there!) And so, we ended up staying somewhere near Ohio, but not quite in it (we had planned to get back to Michigan, so that gives some perspective! And no I wasn't driving.......or navigating either for that matter!) At the hotel where we stopped, Ace and I once again managed to find a few needed moments alone while his sister took our little one swimming.

 

I knew I had it coming, so I wasn't too surprised when he moved the chair in the room away from the wall, and pointed to it. This was the third time in a week I found myself bent over a piece of furniture, waiting.....

 

 

"How many do you need?" His voice startled me.

"Ummmmmmm............. ten, sir?" I wasn't serious and He heard the smile in my voice.

"Hmmmmmm, ten huh?" A pause, and then "That's not really how many you need, is it?"

 

I slowly began to shake my head no, and He reached forward, wrapped His hand in my hair and gently continued to shake my head.

 

"No, that's what I thought ........... that's ok, I happen to know exactly how many you need."

 

And with that, He began spanking me slowly but very hard with his hand, rendering me breathless and squirming to get away.

 

29 very hard strokes later, it was over.

 

And I was a very warm, thoroughly happy, loved (birthday) girl.   :) :)

 

 

~(one very happy) sugar~

 

 

Blogland

There has been so much going on here in blogland--my head is spinning and I don't even know where to begin. (This is kind of long, but please read it through.)

Jim and Christina (from Red Booty Woman) have a serious health issue with their youngest daughter. This has been weighing on me a lot as my precious baby is just a year older than their Emily. I lay awake at night watching her sleep and think about how I would feel if that was my baby. I know I could never be as strong as Christina is. I have thought of little Emily every single day since first hearing of her illness--it breaks my heart and I just cant imagine what they must be going through.

There have been other losses in the community as well, and while I am not familiar with Bas besides having seen his comments on other blogs, my heart aches for those who are missing him now.

And then we have the loss of freedom that sparked from an article written somewhere that put some of our best blogland writers in hiding. I know the basics of what this is about, but have not read the exact article and I don't want to. I am disappointed that people feel they need to change what they do because of the ignorance of others. It just seems incredible to me that in today's world there are those who are still so prudish first of all and so intolerant as well. I understand the need for privacy and if my name were being published for the public to see, I would probably do the same thing others have done. But, it sickens me that there are people who can make us feel this way--that we are somehow brainwashed or abused and allow it because we don't know any better. I have so many things that I want to say to that and yet, I feel like its not even worth the time to. There are clearly two sides and we are on one or the other---neither side agrees even remotely with the other yet the negative side, it would seem, is winning the fight they started by using fear tactics/intimidation (and being unbelievably disrespectful) just because they can and enjoy watching us pull back out of the need for privacy. Its just shameful and childish---it makes me want to reach through the computer, grab the author of the article and give them a good shaking and tell them to grow up already. If you don't like it, don't read it. If you disagree with it, instead of breaking people apart trying to fight it, find someone you can agree with and go do whatever it is you losers do for fun.

I wasn't planning on writing that much about that subject, but really I don't feel like I have said nearly enough about it either. I know that is what this person wants--the drama, the fight, the fear---I don't want to give them the satisfaction. All I will say is they are being childish/ignorant/asinine (take your pick) and need to find a new game.

It would seem we need each other more than ever. If you haven't yet, please go to Rogue's blog and send a bear hug to little Emily, and leave some words of encouragement for Jim and Christina. And lets pull together and support each other as we move forward.

One last thought: I know you have all probably heard this quote before but in light of the subject matter it bears repeating:

"No one can make you feel inferior without YOUR CONSENT."
                                   ~Eleanor Roosevelt~

Please don't give it. If you enjoy a kinky lifestyle, if you are in a domestic discipline relationship, or whatever it is you do, please remember ITS NOT A FUCKING CRIME, ok? And you don't have to hide it, and you don't have to feel like less of a person for it in any way, and it is not a mistake or misguided choices. Its who you are and you are lovely. :)

All the best my friends. Be well. :)

~sugar

Miley Cyrus.....swatted?!?!?

My first reaction?

It serves the little b-yatch right!!! :D


As it happens, this was not the type of swatting that typically comes to mind (which certainly wouldn't hurt her any by the way!). But, the headline caught me by surprise, for sure!  :)

It seems there is a new prank being pulled on "celebrities" in which they get "swatted", meaning the prankster(s) call law enforcement to report suspicious activity or a break-in at the celebrity's home, prompting a visit by a SWAT team (oh, geeze......I can think of a handful of tops that would fit right in!!!! A SWAT TEAM......I don't know whether to laugh or look for a place to hide!! That could be a blog post all on its own!). :D :D

It seems this is the second time this person has been SWAT-ted, although the news story does not report on whether she was swatted as well.

We can only wonder if next time, the pranksters will be caught and swatted (for the prank of SWAT-ting)--along with the celebrity--when she is SWAT-ted by the SWAT team.  :)

~sugar

He said.................what?!?!?

It wasn't Ace.

It was my boss.


My BOSS, of all people!


First of all, let me say that this may possibly be the most uncomfortable awkward moment I have ever had.

My boss is in this phase where he feels the need to call meetings every morning to "update" us on the company and hound us about doing better/accomplishing more (with less staff then we have ever had before)......during which I have to fight the urge to point out that we could be doing exactly those things if we weren't stuck standing around in the stupid meeting, during which we are neither doing better nor accomplishing anything whatsoever.

Now, for the sake of honesty, I will admit that most of the time I tune out almost completely to what's being said, as most of it doesn't apply to me anyway with my particular position and its frustratingly boring listening to him prattle on then chew me out later because I'm just meeting or barely above (but never below) expectations for the day. It makes me want to scream "Then leave me alone, dumbass, and let me get something done" which would be an immediate termination from the company and would probably earn me a darn good spanking from my Ace. So I don't say it. I smile and nod and let the dumbass keep thinking that he's telling me something useful.

Usually the others involved in these meetings are only half tuned in as well, as it is a rare moment for more than a few of us to be together at once and there is a lot of teasing and banter going on around and through what the big man is blathering on about. So I knew I had missed something as I felt the atmosphere change, and it snapped me back to the moment.

It turns out, the boss had said something about a group goal that needed to be accomplished-- which made everyone chuckle because God knows its not going happen--and someone asked what happens if we don't reach that goal.


And then it happened.



My boss put down the stack of papers he was holding, smacked one hand against the other and said:


"Then I guess I'll have to start handing out the spankings!"


OMG. OMFG!!! Wait.............WAIT, DID HE JUST SAY <gasp> SPANKINGS?!?!?!?


I was in in complete shock--my boss just said that word!!!! But then he did something I never thought I would see my boss, MY BOSS, do!

 As I stood there dumbfounded, my boss put his arm up, unbuttoned and began rolling up his shirt sleeve while asking:


"Alright, who's going to be the first?" 


You could have knocked me over with a feather at that point. I absolutely could not--and still cannot--believe that my boss had said that. You know, the boss fantasy is one that is used fairly often, and I would venture to say that a fair number of people have used this as a "scene" in the past. The fact that I was standing if front of my real life (vanilla) boss and he was even saying it was beyond comprehension for me. To be honest, this is a fantasy that even I have employed at times, but certainly not with my current boss being the one handing it out to me!!

In that moment, and in the many moments since, I have jumped between revulsion and fascination at this idea. Particularly because my boss's office is what we call the concrete box--its in the middle of the building as part of a larger office space, but has no windows, only one door, and I am pretty sure its sound-proof. It seriously makes a girl's heart flutter to realize that, while it would never happen in real vanilla life, the scenario is actually easy to imagine and the environment is not only conducive to it, but practically demands it.

Would I ever..............don't even go there. Even if the chance arose, the answer is a resounding NO! But, that doesn't mean this scenario and environment will go completely unused either. After all, I do live this lifestyle with my Ace, and I have been known to spin a good yarn in the past.......

Awkward in vanilla life? HECK YEAH!

But fascinating in the not so vanilla one..................  :)


~sugar

The three word meme

This meme has been jumping around blogland, so I guess I'll play along :)

1. Where is your cell phone? Don't have one!
2. Boyfriend/girlfriend? I am married.
3. Hair? Mine is brown.
4. Your mother? Cant stand her.
5. Your father? In nursing home. :(
6. Your favorite item(s)? Brand new books!
7. Your dream last night? Was very bizarre!!
8. Your favorite drink? Peach Mango Fuze.
9. Your dream guy/girl?  Matthew Gray Gubler!!!!!!!!!
10.The room you are in? My living room.
11. Your fear? Heights, being alone.
12. What do you want to be in 10 years? Good at something.
13. Who did you hang out with last night? Husband, daughter, me.
14. What are you not? Any person's doormat!
15. What's outside your window? My back yard.
16. One of your wish list items? Kindle, better camera.
17. What time is it?  Its four thirteen.
18. The last thing you did? Some school work.
19. What are you wearing?  Jeans, pink shirt.
20. Your favorite book?  Any John Grisham!!!!!
21. The last thing you ate? Didn't eat today.
22. Your life? Holding my own.
23. Your mood? A little cranky.
24. Your car? Yellow Pontiac Aztek.
25. What are you doing at this moment? Answering these questions.
26. Your summer? What is that?!?!?
27. Travel plans? Somewhere soon hopefully!!
28. What is on your TV screen? SpongeBob Squarepants episode
29. Last time you cried? Yesterday, bad day :(
30. School? Two semesters left............

Well that was fun--try it out if you haven't yet! :)

~ sugar


 

Happy St. Pats Day!!

Just a few funnies to share with you today :)

First, the standard Irish limerick......

If whiskey were water and I was a duck
I'd swim to the bottom and never come up
But whiskey's not water and I'm not a duck
So pass me a bottle and shut the f**k up!

And finally, on a more serious note....an Irish blessing I remember seeing as a teenager:

May those who love us, love us.
And those who hate us, may God turn their hearts.
And if He cannot turn their hearts, then may He turn their ankles
So we will know them by their limp!

Enjoy! And just a friendly reminder:

On St. Patty's day its always best
To wear green like all of the rest,
Cause if you forget,
A spanking you'll get,
That will surely put your bum to the test!

(Hey, that was pretty easy! Lol, maybe I'll churn out a few more for another post!)

~sugar

Spankified Song :)

 

A few weeks ago, while at work, I was listening to my Ipod when an old favorite of mine--"I Think We're Alone Now" by Tommy James and the Shondells--started playing. I have had it on my Ipod for years, but its a song I normally dont listen to often. This time however, I found myself having a hard time not laughing as I literally spankified the song as it played. I copied and pasted the song into a draft and then forgot about it, but this morning on Elise's blog (New Beginnings) this song was mentioned in the fantasy friday story, which reminded me I had it saved here, waiting to be spankified. Here is a video of the song in case you are unfamiliar with it. Enjoy!

 

Bottoms behave
That's what Tops say when we're together
And watch what you say
Cuz we all have canes

And so we're running just as fast as we can
Trying to get away from those hands
Running far away into the night
But then they grab us by the collar
And we tumble OTK and then they say

I think we're alone now
There doesn't seem to be any help around
You're gonna be toast now
The beating of your butt will be the only sound

Look at the way
We gotta hide what we're doin'
'Cause what would Tops say
If they ever knew

And so we're running just as fast as we can
Trying to get away from those hands
Running far away into the night
And then they grab us by the collar
And we tumble to OTK and then they say

I think we're alone now
There doesn't seem to be any help around
You're gonna be toast now
The beating of your butt will be the only sound

I think we're alone now (Alone now)
There doesn't seem to be any help around
You're gonna be toast now (Toast now)
The beating of your butt will be the only sound

I think we're alone now (Help me!!!)
There doesn't seem to be any help around
You're gonna be toast now (Oh noooo!!)
The beating of your butt is now the only sound

*Disclaimer* The song and lyrics are not mine, they are the property of the artist (or whomever has the rights to them). The video was found on Youtube.

~sugar :)

New Year's Resolutions

Well, 2012 came and went and now its 2013.

Time for those New Year resolutions.



This year, I resolve not to sneak the bathroom and steal His clothes while He is taking a shower. :)


If I cannot resist the temptation to steal His clothes, I resolve to at least not hide all of the extra clothes in the vicinity of the bathroom (laundry-room), forcing Him to run through the house in order to find them. :)


I resolve to let Him make His own decision regarding how He cuts His hair. Hence, I will not steal His electric shaver and throw it outside (again), thereby destroying it (again), and forcing Him to buy a new one (again).  :)


I resolve, in light of the above resolution, that I will not nickname Him "my little billiard ball" (a quote from a movie).


I resolve not to continue the habit of locking Him out of the car in public places, and making Him beg (say pretty please!) to get back in.   (I'm cracking up just typing this one, I cant help it--He is so cute when He begs!!)  :D


I resolve to attempt to keep the above resolution for at least a week--after that, well hell I tried!! :)

Happy New Year all!

~sugar (and Ace)