Answering your comments

I was going to answer your comments as I normally do, but there was a substantial number of them--some quite long---after my last blog posts, so I wanted to answer them here, so I wouldnt miss anyone.

Before I address you all personally, I want to say a few things. First, I was wrong in the way that I portrayed Ace in my last post. Every time I read it, I become more aware that I have made Him out to be things He is not. I know that my Ace loves me. And I love Him, very much so. Ultimately, He wants nothing more than to protect me and keep me from doing something I could very much regret.

He was angry. There is no doubt about that. But let me be clear: His anger was mostly at the idea that I had kept so much from Him and let so many things bother me, that I was to the point of giving up on us in a moment of anger and frustration. That is why He punished me, not because of His mother.

It was very hard, harder than its ever been and I am not going to lie........it was kinda scary to have it happen that way, the way I physically reacted. My first instinct is to protect Him, to say its all fine....I deserved it and all that. And while I did deserve it, it was a lot to deal with both physically and emotionally. The physical aspects disappeared in time.....the emotional aspects take longer. This gets complicated, I fear I am not explaining myself very well. What I mean is that 99% of me feels that He was right and justified. But there is one teeny, tiny, little part of me that is still struggling with it. I had a friend express concern that He may have overstepped boundaries a bit. I cant say if this is true or not. We dont especially have boundaries set up (I have a few things that are hard limits which He knows)---but for just spanking, I've left that to Him to decide. It would be hypocritical of me to give that to Him, then bitch and moan when He chooses to use it. So yeah, it was alot, but it was within what He felt was an appropriate punishment for my actions. Whether He was right or wrong, or went too far, I cant say....I gave that decision over to Him to make. I'm still wrestling with that 1% of me that wants to stamp my feet, and yell, and set everyone after Ace because I am still trying to justify some of my actions and defer responsibility. That stubborn part of me still wants to insist I was right to want to report His mom, but ultimately, that is not the issue He had and only plays a partial role in the reason I was spanked.

Joey: You have been a good friend and my most faithful follower since I started this blog and I cannot thank you enough for your support! You are right, communication is a key to any relationship. There were many things going on for a long time that I let build up until my frustration and anger boiled over. I'm still working on being strong enough to talk to Him about things, rather than push them down and hold them in.

Mikki: Thank you for your comment. There were many things, some built up and some that occurred over the course of a few days, that factored into this spiral. In reality, it is the fact that I let certain things and people bother me more than I should, and I let these things fester and grow until they get out of hand. Yes, what my MIL did wasnt right, and there should be consequences for her actions, but its not my job to hand them out. I have a bad temper, and I let it take control of me and my actions far too often.

Bree and Lea: Thanks for commenting---your support and friendship is appreciated. Lea, you are right that my MIL should not have accessed those records the way she did. But, its not my place to point out that fault. We are going to try to separate ourselves from His family a bit---its hard when they live right next store/visit every day, but we are going to try to pull away as much as we can and I am definitely having a disclaimer put on my daughter's file at her Dr.'s that nothing is to be discussed regarding her without Ace or I being physically present at the conversation. That means nothing by phone or person unless one of us is standing directly next to her Dr. to hear it. Hopefully, that will at least stop that from happening again and I wont be so frustrated feeling like her privacy is being violated.

Isabella (Molded by Him): I dont know you, but thank you for taking the time to both read and comment on my blog. I need to make absolutely sure that it is understood that He punished me for my behaviour towards Him, not towards His mother. And His mother should be held responsible for her actions, but that is not my job. The root of the problem is that I let other people's words and actions bother me too much, then give in to a famously bad temper and explode. And He has to pick up the pieces, and get me back where I should be, which is safe in His arms. Yes, my punishment hurt, and it still hurts a bit, but we are right back where we need to be and I am working on my temper, as well as letting go and not letting others get to me so much.

Opinionated: As I mentioned above, I think I portrayed this situation inaccurately. He punished me for my behaviour towards Him and losing myself in my anger and self-righteousness. His mom was wrong, but its not my place to punish her for it. Our long talk made me realize that He understands that the things she does like this are wrong, but He feels it is not our place to correct it. He too feels the condescension and superiority from His parents, but He lived with them for a good portion of His life and has learned to deal with it. Unlike me, He does not have a temper and He can take what others say and how they act towards Him with a grain of salt. This is something I am still learning.

Thank you all for your friendship and support---it means so much to me to know I have all of you to share this with! I appreciate you taking time out of your day to read my ramblings and show your support through comments. Please keep in mind that the events of the last two blog posts happened several weeks ago and we have been alright since then. There have been a few affects caused by these events, but life is continuing and we are ok together. I love Him and He loves me---at the end of the day, after all the conflict, thats all that matters. ~sugar