Ok, so what girl/bottom doesnt love that? Ace surprised me this morning by informing me, rather casually,that He is going to spank me tonight--talk about messing with me! I havent told Him-although He has obviously learned-that I love when He threatens me like that! Its part of the process I have always enjoyed-the anticipation of knowing whats coming---in this case making me squirm and think about it all day. Its just like hearing "wait until we get home" or "we'll discuss this later", it leaves me all shivery and nervous--kinda dreading it but can hardly wait for it at the same time(does that make any sense?). I know He is not punishing me tonight-I have been behaving myself very well for a change : P ---but He told me He feels I am overdue for a good spanking and I am not about to disagree.
He is definitely getting better at knowing how to get in my head before a spanking. But--and maybe you all can help me out with this--that part is missing when the spanking actually occurs. So, if anyone knows--how do you help a person learn to scold? Ace and I have talked about this before and He told me that He understands that scolding is part of the process but that He has no idea how to do so and that it is not something that comes naturally to Him. That is understandable--knowing Him as I do, it is clear why that is true. But it is something He would like to learn and I would love for Him to be able to---I think it would completely define the role of Top for Him and make Him feel confident in that role--knowing He can have complete control over me with just words at any time. I read the blog post by Ms Margaret Davis on this subject and I really liked what she had to say about being able to get into a person's head with just words. This is very true for me. I can be spanked black and blue and not shed a tear but a good scolding would break me apart every time. I see it as a chain kinda like this:
Confrontation/questioning > admission of guilt> First Scolding > cornertime > Removal from corner, scolded/informed why spanked > request for spanking/positioning > Spanked-scolded throughout > cornertime(display)> Removal from corner, comfort, forgiveness
The steps are obviously Top / bottom and there are many substeps to each part but that is a general chain as I see it--the last part of that chain was missing for me as a child and I know that is why I so desparately want it know---selfish, I know and this goes against the desire for submission I have claimed to want but just once in my life I want to experience the complete chain and feel like that has been fulfilled for me. There is alot more I could say on this...maybe another post sometime............
3 comments:
MsM is an expert at this aspect of spanking. Also, a mutual friend of ours is awesome. I so like that aspect of the spanking.
There is nothing like that feeling of nervous anticipation when you're waiting all day for the spanking to come. As far as the scolding, that is something my husband had trouble with when we started into this lifestyle. It felt faked and awkward to him and I can understand that. We've gotten better at it as we've continued on. Just give it time, let him get comfortable.
Thanks Lea, that definitely helps to know. Ace has expressed a desire to learn and I feel like I could teach Him how but I also dont want to feel like I am disrespecting Him. Thats why I would like to have advice to show Him or someone He could talk to that could teach Him this "art". If its not a natural thing for a person then it is hard to learn--I know He cares about me and I think He still has doubts about doing something that I have admitted will make me cry. He also knows my past and things that have really hurt me before and I think He is worried that something He says could be damaging without intending it to be in any way. I can understand and very much appreciate His concerns--it makes me love Him that much more to know He is thinking this through completely. I wish He had someone who could show Him how to and that it does not have to be permanently damaging to me.
~sugar
Post a Comment