Review Part 2

We had a discussion tonight regarding my behavior over the last few weeks.

Well, actually, the "discussion" consisted of Him pointing to the bedroom and me (very meekly) following.

I knew this was coming--He had been hinting at it today and even gave me a few (hard) swats earlier in the day(in hearing distance of family members, no less!! <blush>).

When I entered the room, I saw just two things: our hairbrushes.

"Oh, babe........both hairbrushes?" He didnt answer but pointed to the end of the room and I took my place.

He started me out standing, holding on to the curled side of our gorgeous headboard (both it and the footboard are made for this by the way......we *may* have tried them out in the furniture store.....but thats another story).

He began a pattern of hand, wood brush, then silver brush and repeated it until I began to squirm. He then had me lay across the bed and began the real spanking, alternating hairbrushes but favoring the much heavier silver one. I tried to lay very still and fought the urge to move/resist(I earned it after all). Just after the halfway point, my tears began and I felt my body relax (I've heard it called sub-space, call it whatever) as I gave up all urge to fight, to move, to even breathe. After a few more strokes, Ace noticed the change and stopped to rub my back and soothe me for a few moments, bringing me back to reality. He gave me a few very hard strokes with the silver, then announced I was getting two more, which I took without a sound.

But I knew that wasnt enough. I was hurting---more than I ever have---but it was no where near enough.

And so, after a few moments wrapped up in His arms, I quietly asked for more.

"Are you sure?" His face was full of concern. I nodded and reluctantly moved out of His arms. He picked up the wood hairbrush...........

"No, please............not that one. Use the silver one, please?" His eyebrows shot to the roof.

"Are you sure?" He asked.

"Yes Sir, I'm sure" I laid across the bed and turned my face away as He began again.

I tried to be very good (I had asked for it after all) but after a few very hard strokes, my body betrayed me and I began to  move. Ace sat beside me and put His arm across my back, pressing down gently to hold me still as He brought me back to tears. After a few more, He told me it was time the silver left something to remember and announced He was giving me three more, very hard strokes that He was sure would leave a mark. He delivered the first two slowly, allowing me time in between each one. I confessed to Him that I didnt think I could take anymore tonight, but after some soothing and gentle encouragement, I accepted the last stroke.........the hardest I have ever had with any implement. EVER.

And so, I'm feeling less ashamed and not quite so guilty about my behavior, right?

Wrong. If anything I feel somehow....... worse. No, not because of the physical spanking, but because it took that much to bring me back to a place I never should have left. How could I possibly feel better about that?