Review

Going back and looking at the earliest posts I have here and elsewhere, I am seeing a definite change in myself. That change has not been for the better. I've moved an unfortunately long way from what I want to be--the last few weeks especially. I've been petulant, cranky, and controling. This is not what I want to be, nor is it acceptable behavior to display for my child. The situations I've been handed have not been easy--still, there was an opportunity for me to accept them with grace and humility, to choose quiet strength instead of loud complaints.  I wish I could say I have done just that. Unfortunately, all I can say is that I am feeling guilty and more than a little ashamed.

I spent some time outside today---just sitting quietly in reflection. I spent some time just being thankful.

I am so very thankful for my Ace. He is everything to me and His love is overwhelming. My behavior (yes, even towards Him) has been bordering on deplorable this last week. He weathered the storm of my whining and complaints with patience and love, offering me comfort and compassion during my worst moments. I am so very grateful and lucky to have Him in my life.

I am so very thankful for my daughter--my angel, who makes me laugh and is always ready with hugs and kisses to fix "mommy's boo boo's". She inspires me, and I want to teach her kindness and respect, not anger and frustration (no matter what's going on in my life). She is my daily reminder to do better.

I am thankful for friends here that take time out of their day to read and even comment on this (silly little) blog. I'm thankful for friends and family who are supportive and understanding--and when that doesnt work, care enough about me to either try to take my mind away from daily things or call me out and give me a good wake up  call.

So yes, I'm thankful for the one person, a simple comment, that brought me to this point. It was a difficult to hear and even harder to reflect and recognize what I've become. It was hard to hear, but it was a much needed wakeup call. I've done alot of thinking and I am going to make a conscious effort to get back to myself and who I want to be----a loving, submissive and grateful wife, mother, amd friend.